With the earth stuck in a limbo between the forces of nuclear
winter and global warming, mortgage rates have decreased in four of the five
popular loan programs. While the problems of the fiscal cliff remain to be
solved, the United States must learn to cope with the ongoing firestorms
brought on by the end of the world. However, despite this radical shift to
post-apocalypse, homeowners will still be responsible for mortgage payments,
and those who did not survive the devastation will find their homes foreclosed
and credit badly damaged if they do not keep current on their monthly mortgage
payments by wiring the funds from the great beyond. Thankfully, the government
has created the HAARP program (Home Affordable Apocalypse Relief Program) for
just such an occasion, although analysts expect few to qualify until the
release of HAARP 2.0.
In terms of the conventional 30-year fixed-rate
mortgage, interest rates dropped 0.01% worries that clouds of radioactive
vapor hovering above the U.S. could turn innocent borrowers into mortgage
zombies.
For the 15-year FRM, rates likewise declined 0.01% to 2.76%, likely
as a result of increase homebuilder confidence with so many homes to rebuild.
The FHA 30-year FRM remained constant at 3.25%, stubbornly
making no movement in mortgage rates despite the turbulent events of the end of
the Mayan calendar.
Non-conforming conventional loans also
saw a decline in mortgage rates, falling 0.01% to 3.62% even as the U.S. economy
collapses and humanity reverts to tribalism and, in some regions, cannibalism.
In terms of adjustable-rate mortgages (ARM), rates have also
fallen at an average of 0.01% to 3.01%, although with the apocalypse driving mortgage
rates lower and lower, not many borrowers are expected to choose this repayment
type over an FRM.
Borrowers who are currently floating should be careful of
the radioactivity of the majority of the world’s water sources. Those looking
to acquire a home mortgage or refinance should carefully evaluate the area to
determine whether it is safe to leave the home and find a mortgage lender. Fun
fact: mortgage lenders are immune to the effects of radiation, and thus
borrowers will have no trouble finding lenders in the aftermath of the world’s
end. However, as always it is important to take precautions to secure optimal
interest rates by setting minimum and maximum limits, thereby locking in the
best rates should rates rise like the rising empire of super-mutant ants or
decline like the general direction of humanity from today until the end of chronicled
time. We wish everyone good luck in the wasteland and a happy new year!



